Cannot cannot be can not -- or can it?

Most people will tell you that you must use the one-word version of "cannot." If you split it up, they think you are an idiot. However, those people are mistaking a style choice for a rule violation.

"Can" is a word. "Not" is a word. They can appear together in a sentence as separate words without violating any rule of English -- except style. That means you have a choice.

Those people who think that you are an idiot for using "can not" will tell you that the dictionary lists "cannot" but it doesn't list "can not."

There is a good reason for that. Most dictionaries do not list "can not" because it is a phrase, not a word. That is why you can not find "do not," "should not," "will not," and other similar phrases in the average dictionary.

But you can save yourself a lot of arguments by avoiding "can not" whenever you can. People will think that you are poorly educated if you use it. They won't listen to your arguments that it is they, in fact, who are poorly educated.

I will give you two good reasons why you should use "can not" at least once in a while.

You can use it for extra emphasis as in: "You can not chop off my head." That sounds slightly stronger than "You cannot chop off my head." And if you bold or italicize the "not," it creates this even stronger sentence: "You can not chop off my head."

The second reason is because of a slightly unusual sentence structure like this: "You can, not only buy me a beer, but also a pretzel." The English geeks will eventually concede the argument on this type of a sentence, but they won't budge on any other point.

So if you like to argue, use the two-word version, but if you like peace and quiet, stick to the one-worder whenever you can. You can not go wrong.
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Sir Chelf the Search Elf searches the Internet for your amusement.
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Pease Porridge Hot

In today's language, "Pease Porridge Hot" would be rendered "Pea Porridge Hot" and not "Peas Porridge Hot."

"Pease" is one of those words that were misunderstood by their users. "Pease" is a singular word, but is was mistaken for a plural word. So the word "pea" was invented as the singular form.

"Pease" lost its singular meaning entirely, and eventually, the spelling was changed to "peas."

Someday, if you're nice, I will tell you the very similar story about the word "cherry."

Take care.
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Now

The Dogs of Words start many sentences with the word "now." In the old days, in all instances, if a sentence began with "now," students were taught to put a comma after it. Consider these examples:

Now, why did you hit me on my little punkin head?
Now, we must take immediate and decisive action.

The first sentence would not be changed by dropping the word "now." Its use is akin to the words "all right" or a variety of interjections. "Now," by the way, is actually an adverb that is used interjectionally.

The second sentence needs the word "now" to indicate that at this very moment, we must take action.

Many English teachers presently teach that if "now" refers to time, then the comma should not be used, and if the word "now" is simply an unneeded interjection, then it should get a comma.

But there is more.

Merriam Webster considers both examples to refer to time, although it says that the first example is "used with the sense of present time weakened or lost to introduce an important point or indicate a transition."

English teachers seem to be dealing with this situation by removing the comma under all situations. Although that style is not universal, it seems to be growing.

Now whaddaya think of that?
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Homepage vs. home page

The Internet is haphazardly informal. Everybody does what they want. Both "homepage" and "home page" can be found on web pages.

Only one form is correct. Which is it?

The winner, according to Merriam-Webster, is "home page." It is incorrect to use the one-word version at this time, but dictionaries have been known to change to reflect modern usage.
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ANGLEWITCH

"Anglewitch" is an obsolete term. It survives merely as an oddity. My trusty Webster does not list it, but let me assure you that an anglewitch is a fishing worm.

I was not able to track down the meaning of the second half of the word, but as to the first half, a fisherman is often referred to as an angler. Perhaps "witch" is simply an alternate to the word "worm." I do not know. My dictionaries and the Internet have let me down.

What I do know is that Webster's does list a similar word: "angleworm." The definition, of course, is fishing worm.

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Lewis Carroll and his view of words

"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, "it means just what I choose it to mean - neither more nor less."
Lewis Carroll

Big Lew has a point. If we keep saying that a word means something other than what the dictionary tells us, then eventually, it will take on that new definition. And eventually, it will show up in the dictionary.

That's what happened with the word "bad." It always meant the opposite of "good," but not anymore. Now it can mean "good." It depends on who is speaking.

There is very little chance that "bad" will lose its original meaning. There is a slightly better chance that it will eventually lose its new meaning. But until one of those two things happen, heed the words of Lewis Carroll and remember that the word means whatever the speaker wants it to mean.

Lewis Carroll is bad -- and we mean that in the very best way.
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Sir Chelf the Search Elf is always searching the Internet. What do you think he found today?

How many words are there?

Nobody can say for sure how many words there are in the English language. Nobody ever will.

First of all, it depends a lot on how picky you are. Do you count all forms of words such as: bat, bats, batted, batting, batty, batter? Do you count proper names and scientific terms? Do you count obsolete terms that haven't been used in centuries? How about word which are only used in certain geographic areas? And how about slang?

Consider this puzzler. I have a table in my kitchen. I have a different kind of table in my Word document. They are two distinct things. Do you count them as two words or just one?

For these reasons, and a few others, there will never be a definitive count.

Still, some people have tried. A conservative estimate is about 3 to 3.5 million words. I have seen estimates as high as 8 million.

On the other hand, we don't have a use for that many words. Nobody could memorize them all and there would never be a use for the vast majority.

The average person knows between 10,000 and 20,000 words and uses on a regualr basis between 1,000 and 2,000. It depends on their IQ and education.
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If searching the Internet is drudgery, then you must not have met Sir Chelf the Search Elf. he makes it fun.

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Pushing the Envelope

Suppose you are a test pilot. You are given a new plane and told to test it. You are also told how fast it is, how well it turns, how high it flies, etc. In aeronautics, that information is known collectively as the "performance envelope."

Now suppose you take that plane up for a ride and you notice that you can get a little more out of the plane than those dumb engineers told you. So you push the plane to its limits to see if you are right. That's called "pushing the envelope."

Nowadays, anybody who tests the limits or restrictions of something can be said to be pushing the envelope.

I'm going to wrap this up. I wouldn't want to be accused of pushing the envelope beyond the limits of your patience.

OK and Okay

OK came before Okay, but we just don't know for certain who started to use OK first or what it meant.

The best two theories that I know of are the following.

OK is an abbreviation for the words all correct in the Dutch language. If you ever get a copy of the March 23, 1839 Boston Morning Post, you will find the earliest known mass media use of the term.

OK is an abbreviation for Old Kinderhook. Martin Van Buren went by the nickname Old Kinderhook. Apparently, he used to sign off on things with the initials OK. When he ran for president in 1840, there was actually an OK Club formed to support him.

This topic leads to fierce debate because no one really knows the origin. There are plenty of alternative explanations if you don't like the ones that I presented. All we can say for sure is that the abbreviation OK came before the word Okay. Now, ain't that weird?

Jaywalker

If you go back far enough, you will find that one of the early definitions of "jay" is: simpleton or stupid person. Our present definition of "jaywalker" is someone who doesn't use the designated crossing areas to cross a street. In other words, a jay (stupid person) is apt to do stupid things (cross at unsafe or illegal places).

So don't be a jaywalker. And try not to be a jay at home or the office.

Sheriff

Sheriff is a portmanteau (joining of two words to create a third) of SHIRE and REEVER. A sheriff was originally the reever of a shire. In other words, he was a local official (reever) for a small town (shire). His duties were to enforce regulations, serve papers, carry out judicial sentences, etc. If there was a menial job to be done, it often fell to the sheriff to do it.